Title: Sanctuary Caretaker

Gender: Female

Age: Ageless

Chinese Sign: Metal Ox

Location: Earth, the Universe, and Everywhere

I've finally moved from the 16th century into the 21st! Check out my new blog at http://www.littlepebbleblog.com

I am blessed to have been selected as Gaia Networking Group's Featured member of the Month for February. Check out the conversation: http://groups.gaia.com/z_network/conversations/view/397774#397774 
 and the conversation continues on a second thread:  http://groups.gaia.com/z_network/conversations/view/402121

 
I am a 312-year-old human being who has recently been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (high-functioning autism). This discovery has been amazingly empowering for me, and I look forward to sharing my life and thoughts for the benefit of anyone who cares to listen. The following was a New Year's speech which I delivered at the local SGI-USA meeting here in eastern Carolina. I hope that my words can encourage and support someone out there!

It is a rare thing to be born a human being, on Earth, in this time. Just think - out of hundreds of galaxies, hundreds of thousands of planets, millions of species, we have all come together here and now, to make this world a better place for everyone alive.  It is so easy to lose sight of that fact, or never to awaken to it at all. But despite all of the problems in our lives, all of the errors we make and failures we experience, we must never forget what an amazing and blessed life we have been given. And we must work hard to show our appreciation every day, and to make the most of it.

In society today, many people forget that we are all connected. We do not stand alone in this world.  Everything we do affects someone else in some way. Whether it's letting another car merge into traffic in front of you, or smiling at someone you may not like that well, or doing a favor unasked, every action we take has repercussions. I am working to be a positive force in this world, and not to let my problems overwhelm me or negatively affect someone else's life.

We all know that what we believe creates the life we live. If we think that we are failures, or that bad luck follows us, or that we will never achieve our goals, then we absolutely will not have the lives which we seek. We must believe that our lives will be what we want them to be; we must face life with courage and a positive belief that we will succeed. If not, then we have betrayed the faith which we have chosen to give our lives.

From the time I was a toddler, I have suffered from a developmental disorder which has affected my entire life and how I dealt with the world.  It has left me unable to interact easily with other people or to form successful relationships. It prevented me from going to college, or getting married, or having a career. It left me encased in a bubble, separated from the world by my fears and inability to connect with others. I say that I “suffered” from it, but in reality it has been an enormous gift, because it has made me think deeply about who I really am and what I want to be, now and in the future. All of those years when I was separated from any connection with mankind, I was learning about what was important in life, and what effect I had on the world around me.

I have discovered that every thought, every word spoken, every step taken, has a meaning which can change someone else's life. If I spend my time complaining about my failures, or dwelling on my problems, or moaning about the things I want and can't have, then it not only makes my life harder, it affects everyone I encounter.  So I have determined to overcome the effects of Asperger Syndrome in my life. I am determined to live a positive and productive life, by making concrete goals and fulfilling them. I will not be at the mercy of fate or chance; I will grab hold of my life and make it what I want it to be.

Several months ago, I determined that there were several pressing needs in my life which I could not meet, and I decided, for my sake and for the sake of those dependent on me, that I was going to work to correct them. The best way to do that was to go to college for the first time. This decision felt so empowering, so right, that I know I will succeed in getting the education I need to build a decent life for myself. I began studying this fall to become a medical transcriptionist. This one-year program will provide me with a skill with which to earn a decent living. But I will not stop there. That's just my practical, immediate goal. From there, I am determined to go on to UNCW and get a Master's Degree in Creative Writing, which is my true dream. Someday soon I will publish my first book, and then…Who knows where this will lead? I will have the skills to make a success of my life, at long last.  And I will always remember that every step I take goes far beyond myself - it affects everyone around me. 

I owe an enormous debt to all of you, who have helped me to find the courage and strength to make my life better every day. There is a saying which I have engraved on my heart: We make a living by what we get. But we make a life by what we give.  You all have given me more than I can ever say, and I pray to be able to give back to this world what I have received from you - faith, courage, and hope for the future. I have made a vow to look beyond myself, and to help create a better world in whatever way I can.

Beyond the improvement which getting an education will bring is the greater improvement in my sense of self, in my dreams, in my goals for the future. If we act with conviction, if we believe with every fiber of our being that we are making a better world, and a better life, then that is what we will see. And isn't that what we're all here for? 

Member Since: Thursday, December 18 2008

Last Visit: 145 days ago.

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